Monday, 23 March 2020

Essay on microchips

 A great deal of controversy surrounds the insertion of microchips under people's body. More and more people tend to support the use of microchip on the grounds that in today's modernized society everybody should follow this innovative role model. From my perspective,  I believe that microchips are such a devastate tool that it is capable of changing humanity life.
 It is known the fact that everyone is under consideration of implanted microchips. There are several reasons why microchips are going to affect in a negative way life. First of all,  it is vital need to highlight that humanity have some fundamental rights struggling too hard to assert and protect them in a very tough way . One of them is freedom, which it will easily be eroded if microchips are inserted.  Not only will personal information  have been  record but also the authorities will spot trails in no time by using GPS setting. Therefore, there is no freedom for nobody. Moreover,  microchips is going to humiliate life . In some cases people are told to obey states' orders and not allowing them to do their personal preferences.
  Everyone should bare in mind that it is important for people to align with novel facts of life because world is getting modernized very quickly.  When it comes to deal with these situations such as using microchips for a life ,it is of primary importance to be used critical thinking.  There are  few people who have wondered if microchips are a tremendous alarm for human health care. Noone could promise that inserting these, no other substances will not be injected.  If possible,  people will face detrimental  ailments such as skin's cancer . Last but not least,  microchips are produced by laboratories, thus, it is bound that human immune system could probably reject it.
 Taking everything into account, the obvious conclusion to be drawn is that microchips may not be the ideal solution monitoring people's activities in order to create a cohesion. In my mind , I believe that microchips will spawn harmful consequences to people and noone could not sharply react to this.

--------- Here are some suggested corrections:

 A great deal of controversy surrounds the insertion of microchips into people's body. More and more people tend to support the use of microchip on the grounds that in today's modernized society everybody should adopt this innovative practice. From my perspective,  I believe that microchips are such a devastating tool that it is capable of changing human life/ humanity forever.

 It is a well-known fact that everyone is under consideration for implanted microchips. There are several reasons why microchips are going to affect life negatively. First of all,  it is vital need to highlight that all individuals have some fundamental rights which they are struggling too hard to assert and protect passionately . One of them is freedom, which it will easily be eroded if microchips are inserted.  Not only will personal information  be constantly recorded, but also the authorities will spot trails of everybody's daily activity in no time by using the  GPS tracking system setting. Therefore, there is no freedom for nobody. Moreover,  microchips are going to humiliate life . In some cases people are told to obey the state's orders which will not allow them to pursue their dreams and goals. (this is a little unclear here- will the state control people through the microchips?)

  Everyone should bear in mind that it is important for people to align with novel technologies because the world is getting modernized/ is progressing very quickly.  When it comes to dealing with these situations, COMMA such as using microchips for life ,it is of primary importance to employ (=use) critical thinking.  There are  few people who have wondered if microchips are a tremendous risk/ hazard/ peril for human health care. No-one can promise that when inserting these, no other substances will not be injected or no other complications will occur.  (never a double negative, remember?)In the worst-case scenario,  people may face detrimental  ailments/ fatal conditions, such as skin's cancer . Last but not least,  microchips are produced by laboratories; SEMI COLON HERE thus, it is bound that the human immune system could probably reject them.

 Taking everything into account, the obvious conclusion to be drawn is that microchips may not be the ideal solution since they will bring about the incessant/ constant monitoring of people's activities in order to create a cohesion. In my mind , I believe that microchips will spawn harmful consequences to people and no-one could not sharply react to this. ,which cannot easily be denied nor embraced.

That is one more good effort Charalambos! Grammar is getting constantly better!

Be careful with overusing opinion phrases: To my mind, I believe, From my perspective, I think are used separately, not in combination.

Also, pay attention to the unclear part at the end of paragraph 2. What do you mean by that? Remember that when you confuse the reader or go off topic, marks may be removed!

I loved the use of certain advanced expressions, such as 'it is bound that'. You can do it, blogger! Keep writing and reflecting on the comments! Christina 💪💗😏

No comments:

Post a Comment