Essay on microchips

 A great deal of controversy surrounds the insertion of microchips under people's body. More and more people tend to support the use of microchip on the grounds that in today's modernized society everybody should follow this innovative role model. From my perspective,  I believe that microchips are such a devastate tool that it is capable of changing humanity life.
 It is known the fact that everyone is under consideration of implanted microchips. There are several reasons why microchips are going to affect in a negative way life. First of all,  it is vital need to highlight that humanity have some fundamental rights struggling too hard to assert and protect them in a very tough way . One of them is freedom, which it will easily be eroded if microchips are inserted.  Not only will personal information  have been  record but also the authorities will spot trails in no time by using GPS setting. Therefore, there is no freedom for nobody. Moreover,  microchips is going to humiliate life . In some cases people are told to obey states' orders and not allowing them to do their personal preferences.
  Everyone should bare in mind that it is important for people to align with novel facts of life because world is getting modernized very quickly.  When it comes to deal with these situations such as using microchips for a life ,it is of primary importance to be used critical thinking.  There are  few people who have wondered if microchips are a tremendous alarm for human health care. Noone could promise that inserting these, no other substances will not be injected.  If possible,  people will face detrimental  ailments such as skin's cancer . Last but not least,  microchips are produced by laboratories, thus, it is bound that human immune system could probably reject it.
 Taking everything into account, the obvious conclusion to be drawn is that microchips may not be the ideal solution monitoring people's activities in order to create a cohesion. In my mind , I believe that microchips will spawn harmful consequences to people and noone could not sharply react to this.

--------- Here are some suggested corrections:

 A great deal of controversy surrounds the insertion of microchips into people's body. More and more people tend to support the use of microchip on the grounds that in today's modernized society everybody should adopt this innovative practice. From my perspective,  I believe that microchips are such a devastating tool that it is capable of changing human life/ humanity forever.

 It is a well-known fact that everyone is under consideration for implanted microchips. There are several reasons why microchips are going to affect life negatively. First of all,  it is a vital need to highlight that all individuals have some fundamental rights which they are struggling too hard to assert and protect passionately . One of them is freedom, which it will easily be eroded if microchips are inserted.  Not only will personal information  be constantly recorded, but also the authorities will spot trails of everybody's daily activity in no time by using the  GPS tracking system setting. Therefore, there is no freedom for nobody. Moreover,  microchips are going to humiliate life . In some cases people are told to obey the state's orders which will not allow them to pursue their dreams and goals. (this is a little unclear here- will the state control people through the microchips?)

  Everyone should bear in mind that it is important for people to align with novel technologies because the world is getting modernized/ is progressing very quickly.  When it comes to dealing with these situations, COMMA such as using microchips for life ,it is of primary importance to employ (=use) critical thinking.  There are  few people who have wondered if microchips are a tremendous risk/ hazard/ peril for human health care. No-one can promise that when inserting these, no other substances will not be injected or no other complications will occur.  (never a double negative, remember?).  In the worst-case scenario,  people may face detrimental  ailments/ fatal conditions, such as skin's cancer . Last but not least,  microchips are produced by laboratories; SEMI COLON HERE thus, it is bound that the human immune system could probably reject them.

 Taking everything into account, the obvious conclusion to be drawn is that microchips may not be the ideal solution since they will bring about the incessant/ constant monitoring of people's activities in order to create a cohesion. In my mind , I believe that microchips will spawn harmful consequences to people and no-one could not sharply react to this. ,which cannot easily be denied nor embraced.

That is one more good effort Charalambos! Grammar is getting constantly better!

Be careful with overusing opinion phrases: To my mind, I believe, From my perspective, I think are used separately, not in combination.

Also, pay attention to the unclear part at the end of paragraph 2. What do you mean by that? Remember that when you confuse the reader or go off topic, marks may be removed!

I loved the use of certain advanced expressions, such as 'it is bound that'. You can do it, blogger! Keep writing and reflecting on the comments! Christina 💪💗😏

Faye’s essay on microchip implantation

                                                                            

    For reasons of convenience some people have proposed the touchable/ tactile/ paper ID cards to (SUBJUNCTIVE!!) be abolished and give way to the implantation of ID microchips under peoples’ skin. In my opinion, if this happens, the daily life of people would be improved  and simplified.

   This practice would facilitate a lot of processes and circumstances .Because of the (promptness) easy accessibility to/ availability of the personal information, people could avoid  difficult situations and possible dangers. A characteristic example would be a case of someone who experiences an allergy shock and due to the readily available information  on his their health that is visible with a simple scanning of their chip, COMMA HERE and others can help him/ them because they know his/their history . The resolution of this incident would be definitely faster, reducing the rate of risk .Another example would be the case of a thief that enters a shop and other people around him can see timely see his criminal record and be more alert ed. (so should everyone be alert simply because a person with a criminal record enters a shop or is this person there about to commit robbery? It is rather unclear.)

   Another vital reason that (I’m) I AM (no short forms!) in favor of the chip implant is the saving of time (and) as well as plastic or paper. NowAdays, COMMA (are spent) a lot of time is spent for the documents to be created .For example, COMMA when an entrepreneur wants to apply for a loan, they must devote time to explain at the administration of the bank what they owner they owe or how much money he has/ they have, although it would be much more easier for the bank to read the data of (ID) the microchip implant in a few seconds. Another also/equally significant (consumption) consideration is those the overconsumption of paper and plastic that are IS (uncountable!) necessary for the natural data common paper ID cards to be created and other data logs to be kept. From my personal experience, COMMA in my country citizens are obliged to show their ID plastic card ,documentation of their income , driver’s license or a documentation about their family circle if they are asked; SEMI COLON otherwise, COMMA they will pay a fine.

  It seems that (the establishment of this practice  have two basic reasons to happen)--> there are two basic reasons for establishing this practice/ microchip implantation. Governments of all over the world should realize that they must vote for practices that they will facilitate peoples’ life and, of course, they that will deter the environmental detriment/ damage.

Faye, I know your grammar is much better than this! Why are there still so many missing words, punctuation problems and wrong verbs? Take a careful look at my suggestions so that we can discuss them later. Practice makes perfect, so keep writing! Christina 💚

Implanted chips

Daily, ( unnecessary: more and more) the technology is evolving dramatically. Some of the new advancements are microchip s implants for humans. This is a new method that/ according to which all information (uncountable noun!) are is stored in a small gadget under the skin. The identity card could be replaced by the chip. Everything are is inside it. But this breakthrough can be very controversial. Some believe that it is beneficial and some of them others believe that there is surveillance by the goverNment and police in this way. As I see it, those chips have could constitute a good/ viable option, but the other option their drawbacks may be dangerous.

  Every day, more people refresh renew their identity card because they are lOsing them. If they have a microchip under their skin,then they would not have changed the to renew or reissue their cards at all times. Furthermore, the implantation of a microchip is a safe option for health and does not demand surgery. It is flexible for people because automatically all information IS included.  LAST BUT NOT LEAST,  society will definitely become  more secure because it will be extremely difficult for terrorists to have a genuine identity,and if people are not secure, they feel scared and they cannot enjoy anything else.

  As much as,On the one hand, microchips sound beneficial and practical, but on the other hand, they can be perilous to humanity in many different ways. (but the other option looks like dangerous). It is not difficult for criminals to use concealed scanners on a crowded subway train, for instance, to retrieve information on people's chips. Then, COMMA it would be quite straightforward for them to write their own chip and begin pretending to be you somebody else, thus committing identity theft. However, the most serious problem is that of breaching the human right for dignity and privacy, since it becomes easier for all governments to monitor their citizens. (It is more easy to monitor someone)The chips do not all allow to people living to live freely. Especially in case that our democracy gives way to a dictatorship, people’s moves will be thoroughly kept track of.

  Implanted chips (are already to enter) HAVE ALREADY ENTERED our lives. It is something different and we have to BE prepared for this. Microchips are practical and (enable the manner that we live) MAKE OUR LIVES EASIER, but we have the human right to privacy and we must don not allow OURSELVES to ignore this advantage because we live in a democracy and UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES ARE WE ALLOWED TO FORGET IT (we have do not forget it.)

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 Be careful when you refer to ‘the other option’. There is one issue you are discussing, that of microchip implantation, and this issue has two sides. You used this expression in your introduction too, which may confuse your readers greatly. Look at your introduction again. Isn’t your thesis (main opinion) now clearer?

Also pay attention to linking phrases. ‘As much as’ is used in sentences, like: As much as I try, my listening scores do not seem to improve. As much as somebody does something= no matter how hard they do it 

In the conclusion, some important grammatical mistakes created some confusion again. Take a look at my suggestions and we can talk about them again very soon.

I can see great improvement, though and I need to give you credit for it. If you continue this intensive effort, you will reap the benefits of your hard work! Keep improving, amazing athlete and blogger!

Christina 👏👏💝🎈🤩💌

Andromahi: Essay on the use of microchips

A great deal of controversy surrounds the issue of whether people should use implanted chip IDs or not. Rotterdam and Holland have already established this scheme. However, as I see it, there are some good/ strong points/ arguments against this practice.

On the plus side, microchips can be considered as a breakthrough technological invention. (Or: as a groundbreaking technological invention) Microchips which emplace are placed under the skin are designed to contain a digital record of all personal details. There is no doubt that an implanted ID chip has the capacity to facilitate the access to public services, bank accounts and the most importantly, nothing can be stolen or lost. But at the same time, people may not be in favor of reveal the revelation of such a sensitive personal data. (There could be a change of paragraph here) Unfortunately, it is a common phenomenon that people are to being asked to give/show/exhibit an ID card unexpectedly for a trivial reason. One may ask: Is the an place for privacy? Is the right to privacy being violated? This is to say that, COMMA but for technology, COMMA people 's lives WOULD NOT have been improved, COMMA but what people really need is privacy safety OR: the preservation of their privacy,this which can be called real progress. Governments should ensure the people' s personal lives and data have a fully their full protection. One way to succeed IN it is not TO reveal them IT (the noun data is uncountable) with merely a scan/ with a mere scan.

Moreover, another concern is connected with health issues. Because of heart problems and A weak immune system, COMMA many people are prone to illnesses; SEMI COLON as a result, COMMA no-one can  assure that those chips will not cause further hazard to them. It is of grave importance to make DO first some experiments in order to examine THE body's reaction. It is crucial to devote time TO scrutinizing this scheme prior to takING actioN.

All in all, it should be reiterated that microchip IMPLANTATION has its merits and demerits, WHICH everyone should be aware of (without them). (Why contrast here with Although?) Humanity’s first priorities should ALWAYS be public health and privacy. Only IN this way can human beings anticipate a brighter future.


Amazing Andromahi, I love your ideas and the way you express them. We need to work on grammar, punctuation and syntax more so that your sentences have an even more powerful impact on your readers. I am sure you understand all my corrections and that you know the grammar theory fully well. Putting theory into practice is very demanding and tricky, so a little more attention should be paid there. Keep writing, resourceful blogger! Practice makes perfect! Loads of love, Christina 💝

This is the original text.  Students can compare the two versions and add their comments below.

Essay of unit 6: A great deal of controversy surrounds the issue of whether people should use implanted chip ID or not. Rotterdam and Holland have already established this scheme. However, as i see it there are some good points against this practice.

On the plus side microchip can be considered as a breakthrough technological invention. Microchips which emplace under the skin are designed to contain a digital record of all personal details. There is no doubt that implanted ID chip has the capacity to facilitate the access to public services, bank accounts and the most important nothing can be stolen or lost. But at the same time people may not be in favor of reveal such a personal data. Unfortunately it is a common phenom to being asked to give ID card unexpectedly for a trivia reason. One may ask Is the an place for privacy? This is to say that but for technology people 's lives have been improved but what people really need is privacy safety,this can be called real progress. Government should ensure the people' s personal lives and data have a fully protection. One way to succeed it is not reveal them with merely a scan.

Moreover another concern is connected with health issues. Because of heart problems and weak immune system many people are prone to illnesses as a result non-one can  assure that those chips will not cause further hazard to them. It is of grave importance to make first some experiments in order to examine body's reaction. It is crucial to devote time on scrutinizing this scheme prior to take actions.

All in all, it should be reiterated that microchip has its merits and demerits, everyone should be aware of them. Although first priorities always should be public health and privacy. Only by this way can human beings anticipate a brighter future.

Microchip implants

                For some time now, a debate has been going on about whether people should have implanted microchips. All their personal data will be contained in them in order for people to be scanned when they go into a public service or other places where the traditional ID is now needed. Personally, I maintain that the scheme will gradually eliminate our personal identity and our rights. It violates human rights and freedoms and makes humans a consumable item without personal lives. 

                To begin with, the use of this device renders people to items which you can scan and know everything about. Thus, people will know more things for us than they should. For example, a doctor is not interested in our assets. This may lead to violation of our personality, personal freedoms or privacy. Furthermore, another fear of people is that it is not difficult for criminals to use concealed scanners to retrieve information on people's chips. It would then be quite straightforward for them to write their own chip and begin pretending to be someone else. Health is another vital point which people focus on. It is believed that these chips may emit radiation which can affect our health system. Last but not least, if the democratic polity of a country gives way to dictatorship, the dictator will be delighted that everyone has a chip and all the citizens' personal data are kept on a computer.

                On the other hand, if the tranditional ID cards are replaced by the microchips, people will not be able to lose them and also chips are more convenient. Chips may open up possibilities for technology such as automatic security doors for the home and keys may no longer be necessary. Moreover, it will be more difficult for people to commit fraud.

                Taking everything into consideration, my firm belief is that microchips will have detrimental effects on people's lives. Instead of using microchips, countries should provide citizens with a registration code where all their data will be kept. We shouldn't forget that human rights and freedoms are supreme values that should never be violated.

Microchip Implants

Nowadays, many countries resort to rather stringent regulations concerning the identity cards that citizens need to carry. Topping the suggestion list are microchip implants, which not only contain personal digital data, but they are also minute enough to pass through the needle of a syringe. This specific device is know as RFIDs (i.e. radio frequency identification devices) and has the inclination to replace traditional ID cards. But, are RFIDs a blessing or a curse? From my point of view, their impact is detrimental.

There are many significant reasons why microchip implants should be abolished. First and foremost, although we surely live in a democracy, it is not guaranteed that it will exist perpetually. That is, if it gives way to oppressive regimes, speculative elite will have the ability to keep track of citizens in order to dominate them. Apart from that, since crime rates are estimated to escalate in the future, the opportunity to criminals to commit identity theft is provided. More specifically, only after perpetrators retrieve information on people's chips by using concealed scanners, is it straightforward for them to create a "cloned" chip, which would allow them to pretend to be anyone they wish. Lastly, as far as health is concerned, it is argued that RFIDs are perilous due to the radiation they emit.

Focusing on a different perspective, proponents of RFIDs claim that contrary to conventional ID cards, the sophisticated IDs are much more convenient and a fail-safe way of verifying our identity. Another case in point is that chips offer possibilities for new technology given that they can be accessed when they are in close proximity to a scanner. What seems to be erroneous about these arguments, though, is that monitoring people with RFIDs contributes to violating everyone's right to dignity and freedom on the grounds that the right to privacy is being eroded. Subsequently, coercion and intimidation will prevail and exert a harmful influence on society.

In a nutshell, there is no doubt in my mind that the disadvantages of RFIDs outweigh the advantages. As I see it, microchip implants unearth the "Big Brother" policy. Only if we refrain from utilizing them, will the shape of things to come not be ominous.