A great deal of controversy surrounds the issue of whether people should use implanted chip IDs or not. Rotterdam and Holland have already established this scheme. However, as I see it, there are some good/ strong points/ arguments against this practice.
On the plus side, microchips can be considered as a breakthroughtechnological invention. (Or: as a groundbreaking technological invention) Microchips which emplace are placed under the skin are designed to contain a digital record of all personal details. There is no doubt that an implanted ID chip has the capacity to facilitate the access to public services, bank accounts and the most importantly, nothing can be stolen or lost. But at the same time, people may not be in favor of reveal the revelation of such a sensitive personal data. (There could be a change of paragraph here) Unfortunately, it is a common phenomenon that people are to being asked to give/show/exhibit an ID card unexpectedly for a trivial reason. One may ask: Is the an place for privacy? Is the right to privacy being violated? This is to say that, COMMA but for technology, COMMA people 's lives WOULD NOT have been improved, COMMA but what people really need is privacy safety OR: the preservation of their privacy,this which can be called real progress. Governments should ensure the people' s personal lives and data have a fully their full protection. One way to succeed IN it is not TO reveal them IT (the noun data is uncountable) with merely a scan/ with a mere scan.
Moreover, another concern is connected with health issues. Because of heart problems and A weak immune system, COMMA many people are prone to illnesses; SEMI COLON as a result, COMMA no-one can assure that those chips will not cause further hazard to them. It is of grave importance to make DO first some experiments in order to examine THE body's reaction. It is crucial to devote time TO scrutinizing this scheme prior to takING actioN.
All in all, it should be reiterated that microchip IMPLANTATION has its merits and demerits, WHICH everyone should be aware of (without them). (Why contrast here with Although?) Humanity’s first priorities should ALWAYS be public health and privacy. Only IN this way can human beings anticipate a brighter future.
Amazing Andromahi, I love your ideas and the way you express them. We need to work on grammar, punctuation and syntax more so that your sentences have an even more powerful impact on your readers. I am sure you understand all my corrections and that you know the grammar theory fully well. Putting theory into practice is very demanding and tricky, so a little more attention should be paid there. Keep writing, resourceful blogger! Practice makes perfect! Loads of love, Christina 💝
This is the original text. Students can compare the two versions and add their comments below.
Essay of unit 6: A great deal of controversy surrounds the issue of whether people should use implanted chip ID or not. Rotterdam and Holland have already established this scheme. However, as i see it there are some good points against this practice.
On the plus side microchip can be considered as a breakthrough technological invention. Microchips which emplace under the skin are designed to contain a digital record of all personal details. There is no doubt that implanted ID chip has the capacity to facilitate the access to public services, bank accounts and the most important nothing can be stolen or lost. But at the same time people may not be in favor of reveal such a personal data. Unfortunately it is a common phenom to being asked to give ID card unexpectedly for a trivia reason. One may ask Is the an place for privacy? This is to say that but for technology people 's lives have been improved but what people really need is privacy safety,this can be called real progress. Government should ensure the people' s personal lives and data have a fully protection. One way to succeed it is not reveal them with merely a scan.
Moreover another concern is connected with health issues. Because of heart problems and weak immune system many people are prone to illnesses as a result non-one can assure that those chips will not cause further hazard to them. It is of grave importance to make first some experiments in order to examine body's reaction. It is crucial to devote time on scrutinizing this scheme prior to take actions.
All in all, it should be reiterated that microchip has its merits and demerits, everyone should be aware of them. Although first priorities always should be public health and privacy. Only by this way can human beings anticipate a brighter future.
On the plus side, microchips can be considered as a breakthrough
Moreover, another concern is connected with health issues. Because of heart problems and A weak immune system, COMMA many people are prone to illnesses; SEMI COLON as a result, COMMA no-one can assure that those chips will not cause further hazard to them. It is of grave importance to make DO first some experiments in order to examine THE body's reaction. It is crucial to devote time TO scrutinizing this scheme prior to takING actioN.
All in all, it should be reiterated that microchip IMPLANTATION has its merits and demerits, WHICH everyone should be aware of (without them). (Why contrast here with Although?) Humanity’s first priorities should ALWAYS be public health and privacy. Only IN this way can human beings anticipate a brighter future.
Amazing Andromahi, I love your ideas and the way you express them. We need to work on grammar, punctuation and syntax more so that your sentences have an even more powerful impact on your readers. I am sure you understand all my corrections and that you know the grammar theory fully well. Putting theory into practice is very demanding and tricky, so a little more attention should be paid there. Keep writing, resourceful blogger! Practice makes perfect! Loads of love, Christina 💝
This is the original text. Students can compare the two versions and add their comments below.
Essay of unit 6: A great deal of controversy surrounds the issue of whether people should use implanted chip ID or not. Rotterdam and Holland have already established this scheme. However, as i see it there are some good points against this practice.
On the plus side microchip can be considered as a breakthrough technological invention. Microchips which emplace under the skin are designed to contain a digital record of all personal details. There is no doubt that implanted ID chip has the capacity to facilitate the access to public services, bank accounts and the most important nothing can be stolen or lost. But at the same time people may not be in favor of reveal such a personal data. Unfortunately it is a common phenom to being asked to give ID card unexpectedly for a trivia reason. One may ask Is the an place for privacy? This is to say that but for technology people 's lives have been improved but what people really need is privacy safety,this can be called real progress. Government should ensure the people' s personal lives and data have a fully protection. One way to succeed it is not reveal them with merely a scan.
Moreover another concern is connected with health issues. Because of heart problems and weak immune system many people are prone to illnesses as a result non-one can assure that those chips will not cause further hazard to them. It is of grave importance to make first some experiments in order to examine body's reaction. It is crucial to devote time on scrutinizing this scheme prior to take actions.
All in all, it should be reiterated that microchip has its merits and demerits, everyone should be aware of them. Although first priorities always should be public health and privacy. Only by this way can human beings anticipate a brighter future.
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