Implanted chips

Daily, ( unnecessary: more and more) the technology is evolving dramatically. Some of the new advancements are microchip s implants for humans. This is a new method that/ according to which all information (uncountable noun!) are is stored in a small gadget under the skin. The identity card could be replaced by the chip. Everything are is inside it. But this breakthrough can be very controversial. Some believe that it is beneficial and some of them others believe that there is surveillance by the goverNment and police in this way. As I see it, those chips have could constitute a good/ viable option, but the other option their drawbacks may be dangerous.

  Every day, more people refresh renew their identity card because they are lOsing them. If they have a microchip under their skin,then they would not have changed the to renew or reissue their cards at all times. Furthermore, the implantation of a microchip is a safe option for health and does not demand surgery. It is flexible for people because automatically all information IS included.  LAST BUT NOT LEAST,  society will definitely become  more secure because it will be extremely difficult for terrorists to have a genuine identity,and if people are not secure, they feel scared and they cannot enjoy anything else.

  As much as,On the one hand, microchips sound beneficial and practical, but on the other hand, they can be perilous to humanity in many different ways. (but the other option looks like dangerous). It is not difficult for criminals to use concealed scanners on a crowded subway train, for instance, to retrieve information on people's chips. Then, COMMA it would be quite straightforward for them to write their own chip and begin pretending to be you somebody else, thus committing identity theft. However, the most serious problem is that of breaching the human right for dignity and privacy, since it becomes easier for all governments to monitor their citizens. (It is more easy to monitor someone)The chips do not all allow to people living to live freely. Especially in case that our democracy gives way to a dictatorship, people’s moves will be thoroughly kept track of.

  Implanted chips (are already to enter) HAVE ALREADY ENTERED our lives. It is something different and we have to BE prepared for this. Microchips are practical and (enable the manner that we live) MAKE OUR LIVES EASIER, but we have the human right to privacy and we must don not allow OURSELVES to ignore this advantage because we live in a democracy and UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES ARE WE ALLOWED TO FORGET IT (we have do not forget it.)

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 Be careful when you refer to ‘the other option’. There is one issue you are discussing, that of microchip implantation, and this issue has two sides. You used this expression in your introduction too, which may confuse your readers greatly. Look at your introduction again. Isn’t your thesis (main opinion) now clearer?

Also pay attention to linking phrases. ‘As much as’ is used in sentences, like: As much as I try, my listening scores do not seem to improve. As much as somebody does something= no matter how hard they do it 

In the conclusion, some important grammatical mistakes created some confusion again. Take a look at my suggestions and we can talk about them again very soon.

I can see great improvement, though and I need to give you credit for it. If you continue this intensive effort, you will reap the benefits of your hard work! Keep improving, amazing athlete and blogger!

Christina 👏👏💝🎈🤩💌